People in the South like to talk. To anyone. About anything. They help elderly & pregnant women to their cars. They carry packages. Open doors. Small talk while in lines. I find comfort in this. Not to the same extent but this is what I’d generally encounter in the Midwest. Out in Washington, it was a totally different story. People very rarely talked to strangers, let alone help a stranger in some way. It was one thing I really disliked about the area. I’m not one to want long talks with strangers but a small greeting or such, I do like.

But with all that comes the conversations that make me nuts. Generally about some aspect of parenting about which I don’t agree. Rarely the conversations are “the only RIGHT way to do X is by doing Y” but more like “I handled X by doing Y”. I like those. If I don’t agree, it gives me time to examine my feelings. If I do, its one more tool for my parenting “tool box”.

And so comes a conversation from a few weeks ago (yes, old news now but I’ve been meaning to blog about it). E is rear-facing in her car seat. I often get questions about it and I’m able to spread some education about it. I tell people that the AAP recommends kids stay rear-facing up to the maximum weight/height for their seat. That CPSafety (a non-profit child safety organization) recommends the same. That toddlers are 60% less likely to be seriously injured in a crash if they remain rear-facing beyond the 1yr/20lbs minimum. The MSNBC article from 2005. And so on. Most people thank me for the information, ask where they can read more, etc. I’ve had follow-ups with a few of them over the phone, thanking me again for the info. Some people look at me like I’m weird but say nothing. When we were still in Washington, one parent told me “Oh. I won’t be doing that, though, because I think little toddlers look SOOOOOOO cute forward facing.” How in the world do you even respond to that?? I can think of quite a few reasons to forward-face a young toddler before they have to be turned that way but cuteness is NOT on the list!!!

Anyway, a few weeks ago, a middle-aged lady approached me in the grocery store parking lot. She let me explain my reasonings and then started yelling at me that no 2.5 year old should be rear-facing no matter how much safer it is. That it isn’t “fair” to the child. That other kids her age will make fun of her. That she will not learn to be a “real” toddler until she’s forward facing because she knows that only babies should be rear facing. And on and on. And on. Yelling the entire time. I was trying to load up my car quickly so I could escape from this wacko. I expected E to be frightened, but she was too caught up in eating her broccoli. LOL I tried to refute her but she was just going on and on. Partially, I was quite amused by her reasoning.

1) While I do aim to treat E in a fair way, it just doesn’t always happen.
2) Most of the other kids she knows her age are also RF. And none of them are yet making fun of each other.
3) She doesn’t think RF is only for babies. She’s still RF, so why would she think otherwise.
4) She is every bit a “real” toddler. Spend three hours with us and you’ll know that!!

In the end, though, I really want to know why she had such a visceral reaction.  She didn’t have young children, so I can’t see that it would have been a defensive reaction if she felt I thought she was a bad parent for doing otherwise.  She didn’t seem old enough to have grandchildren for the same reaction.  I made no judgments, only gave the facts.  I wasn’t the one to approach her, she approached me.  It was just a weird encounter.  One of several.  I seem to attract the weirdos.   Maybe I’ll blog about some of the other weird ones.

Not much time to write but I wanted to do a quick update.

My step-dad started radiation & chemo today.  He was  feeling good after it, so he went back to work.  We’ll see what happens over the next few days.  I *think* my mom said he’ll be having it every week, maybe every other week.

We had a nice Easter.  Quiet.  Ribs for dinner.   Yum.

I’ve added some new pictures to our Picasa site.   The new ones are ‘another photo shoot’ and then all the ones from ‘woodland park zoo’ and older.   Jim has transferred a lot of older pictures onto this computer,  so I’ll be adding more in the coming weeks. 

Elizabeth is just about potty-trained.  And I think it’s going to stick this time.  We’ve attempted several other times and she’ll do great for a couple days and then revert back.  We’ve been at it a week now and she almost always tells me first or goes to the potty herself.  When we go out, she usually wants to wear a diaper.  I figure we’ll work on that this week.  It’s been a pretty easy process, thankfully.

Just a mom.   I heard that today.  For the first time.  Ironically, it came on a day when I was doing anything BUT eating bon-bons and surfing the internet while my daughter sat on the couch, eating chips & watching mindless TV.    My day started with a frantic call from a dear friend who had just received word that her DH (in Iraq) had been injured.  We spent the better part of an hour talking & praying.   I then got DD & I ready to head to base where I went to the hospital so I could finish my Red Cross volunteer paperwork & get my hospital badge.  Then off to a mom’s group where I talked mostly with a pregnant mama about the importance of being confident in you and your body’s ability to give birth.   A couple hours there then came home to work on the website for my <a href=”http://mom-2-mom.org”>Mom-2-Mom</a> group, call a friend to do a publication interview about keeping your sense of humor as a military wife (a.k.a. not losing your mind when the army keeps your stuff in Germany for 8 months while keeping you in the States), call friend #1 to ask about her husband and e-mail another friend on my perspective of DH joining the military “late” in life.  The evening was spent at a presentation for the local birth network and in prayer over friend’s DH.  Amidst all the other things that occupy my day.  Not a typical day but not so untypical either.

My life isn’t what I planned.  I always knew I’d be a mother.  Being a wife isn’t something I seriously considered either way.  But I didn’t plan to be a SAHM.  Nor did I plan to be a military wife.  I wanted to live in a big city, work in a museum’s education dept, raise my kids, blah, blah, blah.  Or some other variation that in no way resembles what would actually happen.  Fast forward a few years.  I’m working on resumes to send to a few museums in Chicago and we’re looking at homes to buy.  And then it all changes.  Soon enough, I’m on the other side of the country, my husband gets out of the car to hug & kiss me and our newborn babe and then he’s off to Iraq.

Until that night, I was planning to go back to work when DD was a few months older.  As we snuggled on the couch that night, clinging to each other, I couldn’t imagine leaving her in day care when she was already “down” one parent.  A parent I wasn’t sure would be returning alive.

I’ll take the mundane tasks of almond-butter sandwiches, puzzles, incessant writing of words for DD and laundry.  Buckling sandals, trips to the potty, doing the Hokey Pokey 10 times a day, pouring yet another glass of water.  Seeing DD’s delight as the cookies bake, watching her concentrate when putting away the silverware being careful to put each piece just so in the drawer, the wide-eyes when she finds Jack (one of her babies) during hide-n-seek, the delightful glees as she runs outside.  Pulling out my hair as she asks to hear ‘Its Potty Time, Ernie’ again, putting her new puzzle together again and spending my day conversing with no other adults.  Grocery shopping with a 2.5 yo, the meltdowns only a 2yo can grasp, the insane noise of a McDonald’s Playplace.  Listening to DD pray before bed, hearing ‘me love you’ and getting covered in hugs.

Glamorous it isn’t but amazing it will always be.

This morning I went to an event at a friend’s church. Very “proper” group of ladies, very stereotypical “old money”-type of Southern ladies. It was a nice event and nice ladies. But I was taken aback by a conversation after the evident. A group were discussing our kids and my friend made a comment about something her DD said to her as she (my friend) was getting ready that morning. The rest of the group gave her a “what???!” look. They couldn’t believe my friend let her DD into her bedroom. This group of ladies firmly believe that children should NEVER enter their parents’ bedroom under any circumstance but life/death. My friend & I were rather shocked that they were so shocked.
Even taking out the times DD has slept in our room, she’s probably in there daily–while I’m getting ready, when I run upstairs to our bedroom to put away laundry, to wash her hands (that is the only sink where she can reach the cold handle), looking for the kitties, etc. It doesn’t matter to us. Growing up, I clearly remember being in my parents’ room often–to talk to them while they were in there, an alternate place to watch TV, etc. Ditto to the friend I was with.

Is this a common belief??? Are we really that strange for actually allowing DD in there? One argument that was put up was the bedroom was where parents have sex, so kids shouldn’t be in there. I’d agree if those two events were happening simultaneously but that wasn’t the argument (I asked!). Does that mean they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere else in the house that parents have sex? Or is the bedroom the only “respectable” place to have it?!?!

Its been much too long since I’ve written! I just can’t seem to get myself together lately. I feel like I’m going non-stop but yet I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. Sadly, I don’t even have much to report!!

Jim is in his last week of school #2. One more school and then he can officially serve as an officer. I think #3 ends in July. At that point he can also be called out of his other schools if a unit needs him to serve. We’ve been blessed that we’ve had him home almost two years but the closer we get to the end of schooling, the closer his next trip to Iraq.

My step-dad is doing  well.  He hopes to return to work next week.  He starts chemo April 6 (what a great Good Friday, eh) and will have it weekly.  He’ll also be doing radiation but I’m not sure the schedule on it.  He’s finally able to keep food in his stomach, so I think that has done a great deal in helping him feel better.  He’s barely been able to keep anything in since October.  He’s been losing 5-15 lbs a week!  The doctors would like him to lose more weight but are hoping his body slows it down to a more reasonable rate!!  As my mom said, that rate of loss would be pretty good under normal circumstances.

<mom brag> Elizabeth recently got her first jigsaw puzzle.  She has loved puzzles since she was about a year old and has mastered all the wooden puzzles I’ve given her.  So I thought I’d give her a 24 piece jigsaw and that would keep her going for awhile.  Wrong.  She has it almost mastered!  So we got another new one today.  The 24 piece are for 3+!  With her love of puzzles, legos, taking things apart/putting them back together, Jim swears she’s going to be an engineer.</mom brag>

We  put Windows Vista on our computer this weekend.  I really like it so far.  When Jim reformatted the computer, though, he forgot to copy some of the things I asked so I’ve spent the last few days recreating some impt. documents.  Men.

<mama moment> I took E to Kohl’s yesterday to look for some summer clothes and a couple dresses. We went to the dressing rooms to try the dresses on.  She was facing the three-way mirror and when I put the first dress on and looked at her reflection in the mirror, I started crying.  She looked SO grown up.  The dress really flatters her build and the colors looked good.  My little girl is SO big!!  *sigh*  She loves that dress and has worn it yesterday and today.  And we’ve gotten SO many compliments on it!  (And it was just $11! )  Suddenly she seems SO big.  I am loving this age.  But where in the world did my itty bitty baby go??</mama moment>