My baby girl,

As I put you to bed tonight, I couldn’t help but think that this may be the last night I do so as a mother to just you.  A whirl of emotions, for sure.  For 2000 nights, I’ve been the one to put you to bed.  And to parent you back to sleep throughout the night.  Many nights I’ve dreaded it.  But every night I can stare at your sleeping body and be amazed that I am your mama.

I say that I worry about how you will adjust to your new brother.  And that is true.  You are such a nurturer, I know you will love him.  Things will change though.  Truthfully, I really worry how I will adjust to you having a new sibling.  I know that I won’t be able to do for you all the things I can do now.  And that makes me sad for you.  And for me.  You have changed me to the core.

You & I have gone through a lot.  So many nights I worried that we wouldn’t make it through until Daddy came home from Iraq.  Or that we wouldn’t make if he didn’t come home at all.  Similar feelings while he was away at school.  And many days even when he was home!!  I imagine our “clashes” will continue…we’re too much alike.   But a team we’ve been.  In your littlest form, you taught me a peace I hadn’t known.  And forced me to find strength that I had forgotten was there.  And helped me to find more smiles & laughter than I ever thought possible.  I’ve been forced to learn to handle myself better.  If I do it or say it, I know there’s a good chance it’ll be coming back to me!!

Soon we’ll be adding another person to our team.  I look forward to seeing how he fits into our family.  All the things you’ll teach him.  How Daddy will be with a son.  How I will mother a son.  You will be an amazing sister, of that I’m confident.

Please don’t fear that you’ll be replaced or displaced.  You’re my first born and that can never be changed.

Sleep tight, my baby girl.  Mama loves you.

Snagged from Cory

I would never:
Purposefully shame her.

I always:
Try to give lots of hugs, kisses and I love yous.

I got an easy ride when it came to:
How “portable” she’s been.  She doesn’t have a strong need for strict routine, so we’ve been able to do lots of traveling.

The part I dislike most about parenting is:
The lack of sleep.

The part I love most about parenting is:
Not sure what I love the most!
My terrible parenting secret is:
In the worst of the sleep deprivation of infanthood (if you’ve never gone days on just a couple hours of sleep b/c of a crying babe, please don’t juge…), I’d sometimes wish one of us would die just so I could sleep and sleep.

I would describe my approach to discipline as:
Relaxed with the goal to guide my children in learning how to make the best decisions through guidance not intimidation/fear/threats.  I don’t have a lot of strict boundaries but I strictly enforce the boundaries/rules we do have.   And lots of GOYB (Get Off Your Butt parenting….making it happen.)

My worst parenting habit:
My short temper in the middle of the night when E is up for the third, fourth, eighth, tenth time…

The one thing I am really proud of is:
How I can take a deep breath and control myself when dealing with discipline issues.

I probably am too lenient when it comes to:
I hope my kids inherit my:
Love of laughter…and so far, it seems she has.

I hope my kids don’t inherit my:
Tend to use sarcasm, even kiddingly.

I love that my kids are:
Loving
The thing I miss most about my pre-mom days is:
The sleep!!  And the quiet.

Motherhood is:
Something I didn’t realize how much I needed to do it until I was doing it.

We had Elizabeth’s early intervention evaluation today to see if she’d graduate out or transition on since she’s turning 3 soon.  She graduated out!!!  When she was tested at 22 months, she tested 9 months expressive and 11 months receptive.  Now, at almost-36 months, she tested at 39 months (3yr3m) expressive and 43 months (3yr7m) receptive!!!  She probably would have tested even higher on receptive but her therapist stopped so she could keep her attention through the expressive test.  She was able to answer questions I had no idea she could do!

Her articulation score for expressive was just below normal.  She leaves off the ends of words which brought her overall score down.  That was one of the issues that initially made us get her screened.  If she’s not completing more words by the time she’s 4, we’re to get her retested for articulation.  (Before that, she won’t cognitively be ready for the kind of therapy needed to correct.)

It was exciting to see her test out.  Yet, I couldn’t help but be a little sad.  She’s getting so big (that big 0-3 birthday) and her speech is so incredible.  I love seeing what she can do yet, in some weird way, miss that baby language she had.  And it was sad to say goodbye to her therapist.   She’s also a military wife but in much longer, so I’ve learned a lot from her.  And after seeing her sometimes weekly, sometime twice a month for the last 10 months…well, its weird to know that was the last time.

As Cory observantly noticed, I posted the last post in ‘being sick’ and for good reason.  The last couple days have actually been pretty good.  Last I weighed in, I was down six pounds.  Nausea, vomiting, extreme sensitivity to food smells, food aversions, aversions to chewing…the first trimester isn’t my friend!  I’ve thrown up less (knock on wood) than I did at this point with E but I’m WAY more sensitive to food smells.

A few weeks ago I started having weird dreams, thinking food smelled off and threw up twice (on different days).  I didn’t really think much about it.  Jim jokingly asked if I was pregnant.  Since we’d been trying for almost a year without anything happening, I thought he was nuts.  So to prove him wrong, I took the test.  He had come home early that day and was taking a shower, so i went upstairs and handed him the test (in the shower).  And then I sat down in utter shock.   When I’m not busy being sick, I’m still in that state.

Due date is up in the air.  According to my LMP, I’m due at the end of December.  But my cycles are rather funky and I think I had more like a 60-day cycle, not a 28-day cycle.  So that would put me at the end of January.  They’ll date it at our 20-week ultrasound.

Elizabeth is ecstatic.  She is SUCH a baby lover & nurturer.  She talks about the baby non-stop.  She has plans to nurse the baby (oh, how helpful that’d be!), change the diapers (she wants to do dirty ones, not wet ones) and for the baby to sleep in her bed.

Instead of waiting until after the first trimester again, we decided to go ahead and tell the news.  Last time I was about 14 weeks before we told.  Our families are, of course, thrilled.

I have a lot of concerns that I’m not really ready to go into right now.  A lot.  But right now I’m trying to focus on staying out of the bathroom, staying awake through the day (not easy w/E’s night sleep) and getting through the next few weeks.

Stolen from Lisanne & Cory:

1. How long have you been a mom? Since October 1, 2004
2. How many children call you mommy? just one *sigh*
3. Girl? Boy? Both? One girl, Elizabeth Joy
4. Did you know what you were having? Yep. While I’m a planner, I never wanted to know. I wanted that “Its a ____!!” moment in the delivery room. But Jim wanted to know. And he was supposed to be in Iraq when she was born, so I thought the least I could do for him was to find out so he wouldn’t be the last to know if he had a son or a daughter (Red Cross messages don’t always travel very fast).
5. How old were you when you became a mom? 28 (I had to count, I wasn’t sure!)
6. How long were you in labor? About 27 hours from the moment I last my plug until my emergency C-section. Had things not gone so wrong while in labor, labor would have lasted much longer as I was less than 4cm when they rushed me off.
7. What’s your favorite thing about being a mom? Hard to choose one thing but the giggles would be my favorite. She has an infectious laugh.
8. What’s your least favorite thing? Having had only a handful of full nights’ of sleep in the last three years. Sleep deprivation has been, and continues to be, very tough on my body & mind.
9. Do you want more kids? Absolutely! I’d like 3-4 total. Who knows if that’ll happen with timing between deployments, etc. as I’d really prefer to be done by the time I’m 37. At this rate, it won’t happen.
10. Do you plan on having more soon? Best laid plans go awry. aka we’ve been trying for many months.
11. How many times have you been peed on? Just once
12. Barfed on? Uh, my child had a stomach flu four times before she turned 1. And five more times since then. Nursing tanks are great for catching vomit before it hits the floor so you don’t have to scrub the carpet AGAIN.
13. Is your child named after anyone? Joy came from Joyce, my mom’s middle name.
14. How did you come up with the name(s)? It was the only girl’s name DH has ever liked other than the name of a high school crush, who’s name I didn’t like anyway.
15. When your child gets in trouble, who is the bad guy? Since Jim isn’t home much, I’m the bad guy more often.
16. And who is the good guy? See #15.
17. What is the longest you have been away from your children? A few hours.
18. Bedtime routine? Potty, jammies, prayers, song, 1-2 books, one story about “Princess Eliza”  If she’s had a nap, she’s usually asleep before 9.  If she hasn’t had a nap, she’s generally asleep before 8.
19. Are your toes painted? Nope. On my to do list this week.
20. Last movie you saw in the theatre? Pursuit of Happyness
21. One thing you will not give up just because you’re a mom? computer time
22. One thing you did give up now that you’re a mom? sleep
23. Best mom perk? Stealing from Cory: “The pure, unadulterated, unconditional love that pours out of my adorable daughter each and every day.”
24. Snack that you sneak bites of from your child? Apples w/peanut butter
25. When the kids are napping, you are…? Naps?? HA. On the rare chance, its usually in the car, so I’m either driving somewhere or parked in front of our house. If I’m parked, reading, surfing on the laptop or napping.
26. Where are your children now? watching Dora
27. Favorite place to buy maternity clothes? I got most from Target but it wasn’t my favorite place, just A place.
28. If I could do it over, I’d do this differently: Stealing from Cory again: “Hmm, although I probably would have hated it, in some ways I do wish we had recorded some of my labor/birth with both kids. Also, I wish I would have kept up with their scrapbooks better!”