We’re back from a wonderful trip to Indiana (I’ll try to post pictures & write about it in the next few days).  We actually got back a bit ago but its taken me awhile to get back into the swing of things.  Jim went back to work the end of last week.

Ben is full-steam into crawling and moving onto cruising the furniture.  Jim has him on the deadline to walk before he deploys.  I’ve laughed at Jim with the crawling.  He was so anxious for Ben to start since he was deployed when E did.  Now I think he’s regretting that! LOL  It doesn’t help that, with the layout of this place, its harder to do some babyproofing.  In our place when he was a babe, the living room & kitchen were completely separate, so it was easy to keep her out of the kitty food & water.  Plus we spent most of our time upstairs in her room (the computer was in her closet & there was a TV in her room).  And it was obviously totally safe for her.  And she had no big sister to chase after!!

Elizabeth is doing okay.  Turns 4 next week.  I don’t even know how that is possible!  She’s developed a lot of fears & separation anxiety.  We’re muddling through it but not well.  I expect it will only intensify when she finds out about the deployment and it actually happens.  *sigh*  I got the name of a good child psych if we need it.  They’ve recently hired a few new ones because of the demand with the upcoming deployment.  *double sigh*

I did the kids’ bathroom and it looks cute!  I need to take pictures.  I haven’t done the bedrooms yet.  I need to find a couple picture frames still.  I’m planning to do them one day while Jim is at work.

I know its been awhile since I posted.  I just don’t feel like I have much to say lately.  Let’s see…

My night bible study is over.  It was such a good study.  Beth Moore’s Breaking Free.  But it was also very hard emotionally.  Those hard emotions, though, were shared by many and I’ve come out of it feeling much closer to the ladies in the study.  I love that God is bigger than my anger.

My day bible study on base is also over until the end of the month.

I’m working on redecorating the kids bedrooms & their bathroom while Jim is gone.  I can post my plans & pics, if anyone is interested.  I’ll definitely post when they are all done.

Ben started sitting a couple weeks ago.  He’s also *finally* broken his first two teeth through.

Jim is gone for the month.  Missing his birthday at home yet again.  He’s in California near Death Valley.  Says its hot and ugly.  One of my top bases I hope to NEVER get stationed at (it took over the spot of Hawaii LOL)

Elizabeth is going over to the hourly day care for two mornings next week.  And I’m counting the seconds down!!  Yes, yes, I know that sounds terrible.  But, truly, she talks from the moment she wakes up until she’s asleep.  And then IN her sleep as well.  I need S-I-L-E-N-C-E!!  I’m one who used to crave noise.  It helped me stay focused on my task.  Now I crave every second of silence I can get.

Elizabeth starts back at AWANA in a couple weeks.  She loves it and can’t hardly wait for it to start back.  She had my iron her vest already.   I’m thinking I may start doing my grocery shopping those nights with just one (non-talking!!!) child.  At least once Jim deploys.  Until then, I think I’m going to snag those nights for myself.

I haven’t been sewing much but I plan to spend the weekend on my machine.  When we go home in September, I’m planning to hit some fabric stores.  I have yet to find a good one here.  I found one that has a HUGE variety but it makes me nuts to go in there.  There is little organization to it.  The flat bolts of fabric are stacked on top of each other (rather than standing on end like books @ the library), so in order to see what is under the top one, you have to pull the stack out and look through it.  Like I have that time with two kids in tow!!  HA.  I’m hoping to go to Hobby Lobby and Jo-Anns, at least.  I have a list of projects.

I don’t have much to say, really, but I wanted to post tonight. So let’s see…

Elizabeth has been in VBS this week. She has loved it. Our church is really into getting the teenagers to serve in the church, so they are leading all the classes. In the 3yo class they have two male teenagers. Quiet ones at that. I love that they would take on the 3yo class but these two also seem like an odd choice. Tomorrow they are doing songs & skits for the parents. I was reading the sheet about it and E wanted me to read it to her. So I did. She then says to me “Parent, let’s wait and talk about this tomorrow. Its too much for me right now. Just too much.” Okay, then. Where in the heck did that come from?

Jim is off tomorrow. Yea!!

They put a playground in our front yard. Not directly in front of our house but a couple houses down. Its nice to have one close. The other closest ones were 10 minute walk and a 20 minute walk. On the other hand, it can be a little annoying as well because she sees it and wants to be down there all the time. We go down every evening after dinner and I try to get her down there a few mornings as well. There’s another mama who is down there most evenings. She has a little girl a little older than E and a little girl who’s a little younger than Ben. I really like her. She’s a cloth-diapering mama too! She’s really nice and we seem to have similar parenting styles. Thought I may invite them over for a play date.

Today I met a mama from LLL at Starbucks. I don’t know her well but, after last month’s meeting, we exchanged numbers. We didn’t do anything though. LLL was Tuesday night and I mentioned I’d be in her town this week, so we met up today. I had a good time with her, very relaxed.

We booked our trip home for September. We’ll be home just barely a week. It’ll be nice. But it also means that this deployment really is happening.

We’ve decided we’ll tell E about this deployment after we go to Indiana. She has no real sense of time, so telling her now would be nuts. And she gets SO anxious about things that are a long way off. So we’ll tell her when we are 3-4 weeks out.

This morning I woke up to her crying in my doorway. It was a 3yo whiney cry, so I told her to go find something to play while I slept a little more. She broke down. She wanted Jim. I told her to go find him. She said she looked everywhere but didn’t know where he was. Then I remembered he had to go in early today. I told her. And she really broke down. She was hungry but needed HIM to fix her breakfast. And she couldn’t eat cereal because he may want some. And he may be sad if she ate cereal without him. She didn’t want to eat at all but I finally got some food in her. And I just cried. I called him but he didn’t answer. And that made her cry even more. And me too. Its gonna’ be a long year.

My baby has a tooth! He’s been teething on and off for a couple hellacious weeks. One tooth has barely broken through the gums, just enough to feel the sharpness. And the other too is getting ready to break–you can see the ridges of it just under the gums.

I took a two hour nap this afternoon. I have a feeling I’m going to be awake late tonight!!

Truly, I have the cutest kids ever. Ever!

This is my life.  This is the life of thousands and thousands of families.  Don’t show us on your Memorial Day programming so you can get good ratings and then forget about us until the Fourth of July to forget about us until Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Every day we are here.  Every day we struggle with trainings, deployments, getting ready for deployments.  Every day we worry when the next phone call will come.  Or if the next car that pulls up to our house will be the black car.  Or if that black car we just saw is heading to someone we know.  Every day we struggle with being relieved that we didn’t get that news knowing that it meant someone else did.  Every day we are doing the parenting that solo or preparing to do it solo or enjoying NOT doing it solo anymore.  Every day we see our spouse we are giddy that they are home from Iraq.  Every day we know its one day closer until we have to say good-bye to them again.  Every day we are away from our biological families.  And trying to find new “families”.  Every day we smile as we see the American flag.  And every day it hurts to see the flag because it reminds us of everything else.  Every day we wonder how to explain deployment to our little ones.  And how to keep check of our emotions so we can handle theirs.  Every day we give birth without our husbands home.  Every day we bring our babies home from the hospital without our husbands.  Every day we screen the TV so our children don’t catch a news story about the war.  Every day we have children who sob for their mommies & daddies.  Every day our soldiers miss first smiles, first steps, first days of school, first bike rides, first dates, proms, graduations.  And everyday we get up and do it all again.

Every day we are military.