‘Ya know how God has a sense of humor? (NO, I’m not about to say I’m pregnant!!!  I would see NO humor in that.)

In the last year, I’ve felt that part of what God has in store for me while we’re here is to work on humbling me to ask for help.  I’ve prided (and we know what pride cometh before…) myself in being able to take care of myself pretty well w/o having to ask for much outside help.  I don’t even like to ask for prayers except on the little things.

So.  Church today.  Tradition there is a praise and worship Sunday on Thanksgiving week.  They have one section of the sanctuary curtained off as a prayer area.  I felt an immideate push to go before service was over.  Once both kids were in their rooms, I came back and felt the push even stronger.  But I didn’t want to go.  At the start of service, Pastor Mark had said to grab someone to pray with you or, if someone entered alone, for someone in the service to go pray with that person.  But doing either of those would require me to humble myself to ask for that kind of help.  So I’m trying to figure out how I can get in there without anyone seeing me.  I decide to go outside and through the door that leads to that section.  I get to the door and there was a sign that the section was closed for prayers, use the front door.  Since I wanted it for prayers, I figured it would be okay.  Enter God’s humor.  There is a table with nearly a dozen candles just on the other side of the door!!!  Okay, God, I get the picture.  You’re not going to let me get away with my plan!!!  LOL  So I go back inside (and past a few people giving me a really quizzical look as I try to make my excursion look like I planned it that way!).  I wait until prayer hoping no one would see me.  And chose a spot back in the corner facing away (like I’d actually blend in with the wall and chair LOL).  A dear lady (who I had to walk pass to get from my chair to the prayer area) came in.  She said that she’s not good with praying out loud but that God had been nudging her back here the entire time and, when I walked past, she felt a push.  We talked.  And cried.  She prayed over me.  And I felt such peace.

I’d love to be able to willingly ask for help.  I just have such a hard time.  I’d rather not do X or do it by myself and fail than ask.  I’m fully believe that I’m going to have to seek help at least a few big times before this deployment is over.  I’m trying to find peace in the process.  I’d rather, though, just have an instant heart turnaround.  And be able to avoid any more of God’s humor.  LOL

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 23rd, 2008 at 9:08 pm and is filed under Church & Theology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.