I’ve been thinking a lot about church & children. I’d love to hear what others have in their church that they like/dislike and what they had growing up.
At the church we went to until I was in junior high, they had a traditional church service for the kids but at kid-appropriate level. It was divided K, 1-3 and then 4-6. First we had a Sunday school lesson and then we’d move from the classrooms to the worship area. K had little pews with arm rests/dividers (I can still vividly remember sitting in them) and the others had chairs. I remember K having a piano but I don’t remember for the others. We’d do lots of singing and dancing. Plus a “sermon” of sorts. We’d pass the offering plates. And I even remember passing the communion plates (in 4-6, at least). I loved the style we had.
I really like the church we’re attending but I’m also not confident its *the* one. Being in the military adds a different dimension to church than I ever planned–church theology v. worship v. church family. I always thought I’d place theology as #1 and then a mixture of the other two for secondary importance when finding a new church. But I’m finding that the differences in theology within the Protestant churches aren’t all THAT different as far as the bigger picture and, what is different, I can mostly ignore. Worship style and church family are really winning out when picking a church. As we look ahead, what they offer for children will also be a big factor.
Since being in the military, the churches we’ve attended the most regularly have been a Southern Baptist (in WA), a Nazarene (in GA) and now a non-denominational. I chose the church in WA because I liked the preacher, it was large (a preference for Jim) and the worship style was a nice mix of what Jim prefers and what I prefer. In GA, since he was gone most of the year, I chose a church that was much more my style (lots of music, smaller family, not a formal service, etc.) In our area, I couldn’t find a church that fit all the criteria I wanted. (Before we came, I church shopped on the internet and through sermon podcasts–life in the 21st century!!!) This church is larger than our last (125ish in service v. 60ish). Lots of music. A good preacher who delves more deeply than our last (last church sermons were roughly 15 minutes long–not much time to get into anything too deep!). Definitely NOT a fire-and-brimstone type. Church family is very welcoming. And they all say how cute my kids are. ;-) They have several opportunities to get involved outside of worship service. I think it’ll be a church and church family that I will fall in love with, just not a love-at-first-visit type.
2 responses so far ↓
1 jen // Mar 25, 2008 at 2:03 am
Churches can be a very deep subject. lol Here’s my experience. The first church we joined here in Morris, was a traditional Presbyterian. We chose it for 3 reasons. It was small, only about 75 members per service, it was our *denomination*, (it was also the only Pres church in town.) and the people were very welcoming. As we grew in our faith the church didn’t seem right for us anymore, so we left there and joined a Christian Church, but it took us a long time to join this one. We visited for almost 2 years.
As for what i grew up with, it was Catholic. We didn’t have children’s worship or anything like this, it was just service where nothing was explained and it was all just *tradition* and “that’s what was do”. Very frustrating to a child/person who has to know *why* everything is the way it is. lol (that would be me!) lol
When we started going to church with the kids, we always sat in the third row back. No one chose the first 3 rows. We chose them so that the kids would behave. They always seemed to behave better when seen fully by the minister. We always told them that he’d fuss at them if they were too loud. So they always seemed to behave better.
Good luck finding one. Not sure that i have any advice. Theology is always a big thing with me, then family activities, and men’s classes are big too… so often the men are forgotten when they should be the ones leading. *sigh* Good luck!
2 Jen // Mar 25, 2008 at 4:41 am
My experiences are a little different because I’m Jewish, and my options in any given town are a lot more limited. That said, I’ve had to make peace with the “what I remember fondly from growing up” vs. “what I need in my life today” conflict.
After a couple of years of comparison shopping between the two Temples in town here, I settled on the congregation I belong to now because of sense of family and community it gives me compared to my other alternative. If I lived in a town with actual family, I don’t know if that side of it would have been as important to me as the theology side of it. But as it is, my “Temple family” fills a void.
I also found that it’s a slower falling in love, vs. love at first visit scenario. A year ago, I could nitpick my Rabbi’s sermons to death, but now I’ve grown accustomed to his style and point of view, and I’m content. I also cemented my relationship with the Temple by volunteering to teach religious school. I feel like now that the spiritual well-being of the second-graders are in my hands, I “belong” more.
Good luck in your quest.
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