I’m sitting here with Primetime Live on in the background. Tears streaming down my face. Attended another memorial service this week. And one last week. Tonight news came of another two Fort Lewis soldiers who have lost their lives. Two more widows. Two more fatherless babes. I’m tired of hearing about the war. I’m tired of hearing about spouses who will never get to hug their spouse at the welcome home ceremonies. I’m tired of hearing about the babes who won’t have their parent at their graduation, wedding, birth of their children. I’m tired of wondering if a car is going to pull up at my neighbor’s to give them the news. I’m tired of attending memorial services. I’m tired of all the tears and pain and fear and lonliness and scared feelings and everything that goes with living this life right now. I don’t want anyone else to have to go through any of it.
And yet I don’t have a choice. This is our life. This is the state of our country. Soon we’re leaving so my husband can go learn about leading soldiers into war. We’re off to get *more* involved, the opposite of what I want tonight.
I’ll continue to attend memorial services for strangers. As my friends’ husbands go back to war, I’ll open my arms to them and take my place as a support system. And as my own husband goes back, as we know he will, I’ll hold my head high, my kid(s) tight and pray. But I don’t want to have to do those things.
7 responses so far ↓
1 jen // Sep 8, 2006 at 4:50 am
i saw some of that last night too. It is a hard choice that is being made… by everyone.
i’m proud of you for standing my Jim and supporting the other wives like you do. It’s hard, but i’m glad that you are stepping up.
And as for the kid(s)… are you pregnant again???
2 Amy W // Sep 8, 2006 at 10:17 am
Good question about being pregnant again - Jen. I am interested too. As far as the post though I am very proud of you as well.
3 happygrl6 // Sep 8, 2006 at 12:20 pm
I guess I should have worded that better, eh?! LOL No, I’m not pregnant. But we *do* plan to start trying in the next few months, so there could be a future child come the next deployment.
4 Vicki // Sep 9, 2006 at 5:54 am
Just remember that we are here with open arms for you as well. You have a lot of people who care for you Tricia, you will never be alone. I am proud of you, like everyone else. I think that it takes an amazing person to be able to do the things that you do. You are awesome.
5 Lisanne // Sep 10, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Good luck for when you guys start TTC again. Holding good thoughts for you! I can’t believe that I’m almost at the end of my pregnancy. I belong to the Second-Time Pregnancy e-mail group, in case you’d like the link. I just can’t imagine what you’re going through, with the war and all … for some reason, the 9/11 stuff on TV right now is just making me sick.
I hate looking at it.
6 Jess // Sep 13, 2006 at 1:35 pm
You are such a sweet endearing person, Tricia. I can’t even imagine what this must all be like for you guys as you are really in the middle of all this. I keep the soldiers and their families close to my heart, but I know it really is a lot different for someone who’s really in the thick of it all. I hope this war ends soon. In the meantime, know that we are here for you and are always holding you up in prayer.
7 Cory // Sep 13, 2006 at 9:55 pm
I don’t know how you do it Tricia…Don’t. Know. How.
I am in awe and inspired by you guys, and by people like
you, in the military. Your strength is incredible.
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